Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Hippies of the New Millenium












I never thought I’d say this, but I’m actually quite glad to be done with the holidays. I haven’t kept yom tov in several years, and it just gets to be a bit much over this time of year, since pretty much every other day is either chag or Shabbat. That being said, chagim in Israel are nothing short of amazing. It’s just difficult to keep 2 days when everyone around you is only keeping one, (those of us planning to go back to America still have to keep 2 even though in Israel they keep 1 – there’s an explanation for that, but too boring to go into here, so Wikipedia it or something if you’re not familiar,) not to mention the constant overflow of food. I love food, especially holiday food. But after a good two weeks of constant holiday food, it gets....gluttonous. My stomach will probably only forgive me after a good dose of walking up and down the zillions of steps in Har Nof.

So, to recap. The last few days have been constant polar extremes. Last week, we had a big party with all the girls from my school called a Simchat Beit Hashoeva, which is a celebration you can have any night of Succot, and involves lots of eating, dancing, singing, drinking, and general enjoyment out in a great big succah. I gave a dvar torah about Succot, and it actually went really well – a lot of girls came up to me afterwards to tell me I really inspired them, somehow, even though I mostly talked about a scary experience I had when I was young involving a succah and bricks falling from the sky. (remember that one Dad and David? Good times.) Anyway that’s what I associate with Succot, so somehow I managed to turn that story into a meaningful lesson involving protection and happiness and opposites attracting and unconditional love and trust. I spoke in front of about 50 people, including all the teachers at my school, so it was pretty scary at first, but then I got into it, and ended up right back in my old high school debate team mode. I remember back then, I would always feel really sick right before we went in to the room, and then once I started speaking, it all just fit together and came out right. Also, I always had Liat by my side to make sure I didn’t screw up too much, so that was helpful. ;) The rest of the party was great – reminded me a bit of freshman seminar, for any of you who get that reference. We ended up sitting on the floor and singing together, and just kind of feeling the happiness of the holiday.

The next day, Friday, I went to Moshav Modi’in for Shabbat. This place deserves an entire blog post of its own. It’s basically a little community of 40 families (no one else is allowed to move in, even their own children, which is now becoming a problem since the originators are getting older and they need a way of ensuring continuity,) that was created about 30 years ago by followers of Shlomo Carlebach, a Rabbi who inspired many people through song and stories and love. That kind of thing worked quite well in the 60’s. Pretty much everyone there is a hippy of some sort – this one sells health food, this one does aromatherapy, this guy plays guitar for a living, this lady makes natural tampons (I kid you not). They all sing, all the time, and dance as often as they can. The kids who grew up there are all around my age now, so they are the new generation, and it’s really interesting to see the differences between the parents who started it, who actually knew Shlomo and who had the dream and the vision, (as well as the marijuana I’m sure,) and their children, who basically just all grew up together as one big happy family. The kids are all as close as brothers and sisters, and they all just seem incredibly happy. The moshav is located about 5 minutes outside of Modi’in which is a big city, so they all went to normal schools and are part of normal life in Israel, serving in the army, having regular social lives, etc. The only difference is really that they lived in a place that feels like a great big summer camp. They actually all get together every Shabbat for havdalah to sing in the new week, and it’s really a beautiful experience. And the best part about it, or perhaps the most intriguing for me, was that my mom was actually there when she was about my age for a few summers. I was walking around and hanging out and even sleeping in the same exact places she used to. Some of the original members, including the family I stayed with, actually remembered her, and were so excited to hear that I’m her daughter. It was pretty surreal for some reason. I was getting into the mood of it so to speak, putting scarves in my hair and wearing long flowy skirts, and I felt like I was reliving my mother’s life for a couple of days. The women even made the blessing over the Shabbat candles using the same tune as my mom does, and as I always do. I’ve always known it was a carleback tune, but I’ve never heard anyone else sing it, so that was pretty moving. Also, the fact that I was there over succot only amplified the hippiness of it – I slept outside in their gorgeous succah, which actually felt like I was inside the “I Dream of Genie” bottle, since it was made of lots of cloths and tapestries and beads, and I spent pretty much the whole time lounging around outside, sipping on beers, singing songs, and feeling the love. I can totally understand what my mom saw in this place when she was younger, and even though I don’t think I could live that lifestyle on a regular basis, it just feels nice to be around that kind of environment for a bit. I definitely recommend it to anyone who is coming to Israel for vacation. A Shabbat there is like a retreat at a natural spa I think, except with some added love and spirituality in the mix.

So, that weekend was great, and would have been perfect if not for some other things going on in my personal life, which is the reason for the whole polar opposites thing I mentioned above. I don’t really want to go into detail, but suffice it to say, I had to simultaneously deal with a very difficult decision/reality, so while I tried my best to just be in the moment and sing with my friends, I had to occasionally run off to the woods and cry by myself. I actually sang a bit on my own while I cried, there’s a song about crying out from the depths, (it was apropos for several reasons in this case,) and I guess when I was in that singing mode, it was only appropriate to cry out my sadness as well. At least I was in the woods so no one could think I was crazy. But that’s how life goes, I think. Too much extreme happiness isn’t really natural, nor is extreme sadness. So maybe it’s a good thing I balanced it out. Or maybe I’m just trying to make myself feel better. Either way, it was very hard, and I’m quite proud of myself for being able to enjoy the weekend, even as I was feeling so lost. There’s actually some sort of rule that you’re not allowed to let yourself get sad over succot, since it’s supposed to be the happiest time of year – if someone passes away over the holiday, they actually put off the shiva until afterwards. So I tried my best to stay positive, but what can I say, I’m not that religious. I needed to cry. Of course, that was only a few days ago, so I’m still dealing, but I’m putting my faith in time’s healing powers, and hopefully I can get through this time an even stronger person. I hardly ever know if I am actually doing the right thing, and right now is no exception. Thankfully I have really supportive friends here, but that’s just not always enough. But whatever, nothing is set in stone, things will work out. I will be ok....I need to be. OK, enough ambiguous/sad talk. Sorry. Just needed to get some of that out into cyberspace for some reason.

The day after I got back from the Moshav, I moved to my new apartment, which I love love love. I am now living much closer to school, with the girls I am closest to, so that’s a huge relief. Also, my roommate Esther is moving here with me, so that makes it even better. And ready for the best part? I HAVE INTERNET HERE! Yes, I am now posting this blog from my back porch. We only get wireless outside (ok, we’re stealing it form someone, but really, it’s their fault for not securing it,) so if it rains I’m out of luck. But yay, I can skype now! Anyone wanna skype??

Monday night was chag again – shmini atzeret, which is the day after Succot, and Simchat Torah, which is when we celebrate finishing reading the Torah and starting it again. I was in Nachlaot for the holiday, with that family I wrote about a few posts ago when I talked about that awesome Shabbat. It was very chilled out and relaxed, and they also have an incredibly cute three and a half year old son, (who reminded us he was three and a half about 500 times,) so I had a good time there. I read a couple of their books on quantum physics (I am now an expert in quarks and energy and spin and motion and all other aspects of the universe. Go ahead, quiz me. Did you know that quarks exist in more than one state at the exact same time? As in, spinning in 2 different directions at once? Makes no sense, right? Ah, depends on what you mean by sense. I LOVE this stuff. I should be a physicist. Damn all that math..). (please excuse my extreme parenthesizing. I tend to do that. Like right now.) Simchat Torah here is also extremely fun. I remember back home when we would go to shul and dance with the Torah, and I always really enjoyed that, but here in Israel, they do it in overdrive. They dance for at least 3 hours straight, both at night and in the morning. Then, they do it all over again the next night, only this time it’s with massive parties and bands outdoors since for them, yomtov is only one day, so they can play music already. It was so cool to be outside, dancing around on a huge basketball court with hundreds of people from who knows where, religious and secular alike. Simcha dancing is so different from dancing at clubs and things...it’s like you’re dancing with your whole soul rather than with your body, and it’s just very uplifting, especially when you’re holding hands with people you’ve never met, and just swirling around in circles with them for hours. Also, we made smores on a campfire in the park that night as well. Mmmm smores.

Actually, there was one thing that bothered me about simchat torah. On this holiday, everyone takes the torah scrolls out of the ark, and dances around with them, holding them tight, lifting them up in the air, and passing them around. Usually they are treated with much more respect than that, but on this day, they become like one of your friends who you are throwing around the circle. I guess that’s neat about Judaism, that we are supposed to feel so close to it that it’s accessible and real for us, rather than this holy thing that stays in an ark all the time. But something about it didn’t sit well with me. I was never bothered by this before, but this time, I noticed quite a few girls holding the Torah and crying. I duno, it rubbed me the wrong way. Felt kind of pagan, to be honest. Here we are, a religion that believes that G-d can be represented by no object, dancing around this thing made of animal skin and crying over it. I don’t mean to be insensitive, but I guess I just felt like I was in that scene in the frisco kid when Gene Wilder dances with the Native Americans around his Torah scroll. Especially when people started drumming out beats on random tables and chairs, and singing about the rain, and it really starts to feel like we should have a campfire and virgin sacrifices going on or something. I also thought of the sin of the golden calf, how the Jews were punished so severely in the desert for dancing around this representation they had made of G-d (the commentators say they never actually worshipped the calf, they just wanted to have some kind of physical representation to serve as an intermediary with G-d, since Moshe seemed to be taking too much time up on the mountain and they thought he was never coming back,) and here we were, dancing around and crying over this physical thing. I know, the Torah is paramount in religious Judaism, as it is considered G-d’s word, and does represent our direct connection to Him and His commandments. But come on. Stop crying over it. Just have fun, don’t act like you’re in a revival meeting. I would have felt much more comfortable dancing without it there, to be honest. I did get to hold it at one point, and I did my part, lifted it up and down, swung it around. But it’s not like I had some sudden religious experience or anything. I actually find it kind of dangerous for people to start feeling all their spirituality in these moments of dizzy spinning and physical movement. I understand it, I mean it’s natural for your physical state to affect your emotions and mental state, and we even know that the prophets used to dance in order to gain prophecy, so there’s certainly something holy that’s supposed to go on in that. But I just think people take it too far. The one person whose tears I understood was my friend, who is a convert. Last year on simchat torah, she was not allowed to hold the Torah yet, as she was not yet Jewish, and apparently that’s some sort of law. So this time, when she got to hold it, she pretty much burst out in tears. I asked her afterwards what that was about, and told her about some of my concerns, and she explained that it wasn’t because the scroll itself was so meaningful or important, but rather just the idea that she can finally fully join in and participate in the religion she loves so much. This year is her first time keeping all the holidays as a Jew, and it’s pretty amazing to go through it with her, since she really feels so inspired and connected to every little thing right now. Anyway, the point is, I get uncomfortable when people cry over objects. The Torah is great, but it’s not an object, and to me, the representation of it, while it should certainly be respected, should not be the thing that suddenly inspires tears in those who get to hug it and dance around with it for a while. It should be fun, meaningful, exciting, sure. But tears make me uncomfortable. (says the girl who has cried thousands of tears over the past couple of months....ah, hypocrisy.)

For the second day of yomtov, which isn’t a holiday here in Israel, I went to the Old City with my friend, and we ate by a family that was visiting for the holidays, and hosting about a hundred American seminary girls who needed a place for second day. That was fun, except for the fact that during dessert, they had a guy stand up and speak to us about politics and terrorism and biased journalism and elections and whatnot. That bothered my friend and me a LOT. I felt like someone who got tricked into a timeshare discussion. I was there for good (free) food and company, not for some political talk. Needless to say, when they started handing out pamphlets about the settlements, it was time for us to go. I guess in Israel, the politics of the land will simply always be there, whether you’re celebrating a chag or not. It’s a constant. Still, I think there’s a time and a place for such talk, and while I’m totally comfortable discussing it over a meal, I think a man standing up in front of 100 girls in the middle of dessert to tell them his views on Hamas and the media is just wrong. We’re actually planning on calling up the person who sponsored the event (a well-known name here in Jerusalem who really does a lot for visiting American students and who actually provided me with some of my plane ticket to come here,) to let him know about what went on. Not sure what will come of that, but at least we’ll make him aware of it, and maybe he can let the family know in the future that that’s not really so appropriate in that kind of setting.

Tomorrow I am heading up north with some friends, and we’ll eventually end up in Tzfat, which is a really holy city up north, where a lot of the kabbalist rabbis used to live and learn. That should be an interesting time. I’m actually going to be staying with someone there who is an artist, and I bought a necklace from him two years ago that is still one of my favorite pieces of jewelry. Maybe I’ll buy some more stuff. Probably not, considering I am on an extremely tight budget right now....the kind where you try and live on like 10 shekels a day. Speaking of money, I think I have a job now, sort of. The family I stayed with in Nachlaot has a few dot-com businesses and they need help with writing and marketing, so they said they would hire me part-time. Yay money! Boo economic crisis!

I’m gonna upload some pictures from the past while, and also there will probably be a bunch more tagged on facebook over the next few days, so you can check out those if you want some more pictoral evidence of what I’ve been up to. I’ll also try and post a couple of videos on here – one of birkat hacohanim at the kotel, which was a pretty incredible experience, and of havdalah and maybe some dancing at the moshav. (for now I’ll just post this and then I’ll put the pictures up at some point in the near future, since I have no time at the moment. Check back within a few days or so.)

Loooove,
Shira

Saturday, October 11, 2008

What comes before Part B? Part-Ay! (Scrubs fans, back me up here.)

Hey all,

I know it's been a little while since I last blogged, but I guess I needed a little break, especially over those few days preceding yom kippur. I tried to take it really seriously this year, spent a lot of time writing out and thinking out all the things I felt sorry for, and things I want to improve on. The day itself was pretty intense as a result, and by the end of it, I was nothing short of exhausted. it was a good thing, though. I feel pretty refreshed, renewed, re-everythinged.

So now I have a 2.5 week break from classes. All the schools have off now, and it's pretty much a big party in Jerusalem. Succot is apparently tons of fun here, with lots of concerts and festivals. It's already pretty cool to walk around and see zillions of succahs popping up everywhere - people just build them on the streets, and on porches, and on top of other ones. Everyone needs one, since the men have to sleep in them. I'm actually getting a real sense of what it's like to have a whole population just move out of their homes to live in temporary dwellings for a while, which I suppose is the point. I never really felt that about the holiday since I'm used to a succah on the roof of my elementary school/shul, but now that I'm surrounded by them it's kind of hard not to get into it. I've also been learning a lot about it, how it's the happiest time of year, since we are all brand new people now, with totally clean slates and happy minds, finally ready to take on the year. It's the only holiday where we are told numerous times to do it "b'simcha" - in happiness. So, yeah, it's one big party. And Simchat Torah will be fun too...lots of dancing and whatnot. Hopefully with the holidays I can keep busy over the break but to be honest, I kind of wish we were just going right back to classes... I'm a loser like that. ;) I mean, I'm COOL like that! :)

Also, some friends and I are renting a car and driving up north for a few days, which should be a good time. We're gonna play it by ear I think, just kind of go to random places and see what's what. I've always craved that kind of adventurousness, just kind of taking off and seeing what happens, so it'll be fun to do that for a bit. A few years ago Rae and I went on a little trip together up to the kineret (sea of galilee) and slept on the beach, and that is still one of my favorite memories ever of Israel, so hopefully we can swing by there this time and I can convince them to do some camping with me. We'll see.

So in all this thinking about who I am and where I'm heading in life, I've come up with a new idea in terms of profession. I think I might wanna go into something like counseling for families or couples. I'm just realizing that the thing I love to do most is sit and listen to people and talk to people and try to help them out, and I certainly have a passion for family and relationships, so I think I'd be good at that...maybe end up with a private practice eventually, or a PhD so I can teach, too...or maybe combine it with writing, like do research or write articles...I know, I have a different idea every other month, but this is the latest, and I like it right now. There's actually a program at a school near here where you can get a degree in that, so I'm gonna ask them about it and see what's what, just to get an idea of what it would involve. My basic plan in terms of career has been to find a job I enjoy when I get back to the states, something where I can help people hands-on, and then go from there in terms of deciding the best degrees to go for. But I don't want to just let things happen totally by chance and circumstance -- I want to make sure I direct my own fate, and end up in a profession where I can use my talents as well as enjoy myself while I do so. I know, it's not a perfect world, but I can at least strive for that kind of goal. And yeah, you can't really plan for anything in life since usually the curve balls come when you least expect them and nothing goes according to plan, (especially considering the current sorry state of the American economy...can't wait to come home to that one...) but I think it's still important to aim for goals, even if you end up reaching them in roundabout ways, or not at all. So, yeah, I'll be asking around about that counseling thing, and if anyone has any thoughts or suggestions let me know.

Anyways I'm pretty tired, even though I just spent a whole day eating and resting, I think I might be coming down with something...lots of girls got sick last week, so I've been trying to take care of myself, but I duno, maybe I caught something. Hope not. Point is, sorry this post is kinda short/lame, but I think I wana go back to sleep now.

I hope everyone is doing well, I miss you all, a ton. I love it here, but I really cant wait to come home again and see everyone, hopefully a bit wiser and more mature and ready for life than I was when I left. I wish I was better at this whole being away from home thing, but really, maybe that's not such a bad thing. Maybe I'm just the type to want to always be close to the people I love....that's good right? Right.

Love, shira

ps I have been watching every episode of Scrubs and Fresh Prince, and I have to say, those are 2 really great shows. (my friend has all of them on her laptop. Good times. Don't take your TV for granted. Mmph.)

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Post-Rosh Post (get it??)

Rosh Hashana was actually much better than I expected it to be. I knew it would be tough to be away from home, and I certainly had my moments of melancholy over that. But I think that I ended up being so occupied and inspired by the holiday that it wasn’t as big an issue as I thought. I stayed with a few friends who I’ve gotten very close with, so I wasn’t lonely for any of it, which is good. (They taught me how to make jewelry, which is my new hobby, fyi.) Also, I went to a Carlbach minyan again for davening, so there was a lot of singing and involvement of the congregation, which kept me interested and attentive. I was there at 6 am, with the sunrise (a tradition on Rosh Hashana, so that you start off the year with zeal and alacrity,) and even though I was exhausted, the time pretty much flew by (6 hours!!). I was just really into it, I read all the words in Hebrew and English, and I really connected to the parts of it that I could. The prayers are gorgeous when you stop to read what they mean; I love the parts where you ask for purity of heart and truth - something I so dearly want right now.

The Shofar blowing was an interesting moment. It was certainly sub-par, as I’m used to hearing only extreme expertise in that from my Dad. When my Dad blows Shofar, it’s always so loud and strong, like a real call to wake up, to battle, to something mighty and majestic. This time, the sound was much thinner, quieter, and almost whiney. (Actually, it says in the prayers if you read the English, that the call of the Shofar is a “thin, still voice,” which is interesting I think, considering I always associated it with such might, but I learned that that means that it stands out as the only individual “voice” we hear out of a day of communal singing and prayer.) Anyway, the good part about it was that usually, when I hear my Dad, I am filled with pride, and I just watch him and I watch the people coming up to him afterwards to tell him that he’s made their Rosh Hashana complete, and think how lucky I am that I’m the daughter of the Shofar blower, which is a nice feeling. This time, since I had no connection to the guy, nor did I particularly enjoy the sound of it, nor could I even see him doing it since I was behind an opaque divider, I had to connect to it in an entirely different and new way. I had to really think about what that sound means, why the sounds are done precisely in that way, in that order, and what it is actually “waking me up” to do. It became more of a meditative moment than a proud one, which I suppose is what I need right now, anyway. So, yes, I missed your blowing, Dad, but I think I actually was able to gain from this kind of experience as well, fortunately.

The meals were amazingly delicious, but I ended up eating way too much as a result...good thing today is a fast day. (and David’s hebrew birthday...yom huledet sameach, bro :)) There’s also a fun part at the beginning, where you eat different kinds of fruits and vegetables for different blessings on the year, and it feels a bit like a pesach seder, actually. (more than just dipping apple in honey and having some pomegranate seeds – you eat several different things, those are really only a couple of them.) Maybe we did that when I was little, but I didn’t remember it, so it was a nice little surprise element to the meals. Oh, and I ate some fish head. Mmmm. Fish smarts.

All in all, a great start to the year. I missed everyone back home, but I really got to do some much-needed introspection and reflection, as well as fill up on yummy food at 4 different meals. Good times.
So now I’ve got ten days to yom kippur. I’ve got a lot of thinking to do, figuring out what I need to fix, who I need to apologize to, what I need to improve on. I’m considering posting something on that, but it might end up being too personal. We’ll see.


I’ve been reading some of Rav Hirsch’s writings with one of my close friends here, which is really interesting stuff. He wrote in the late 1800’s in Germany, when the Reform movement started, and he was basically writing in a very rational, enlightenment-oriented style, to appeal to those of his generation, who were assimilating more and more because they felt it was more important to be like the Germans than to be like Jews had traditionally been. His main philosophy was “torah im derech eretz”: torah with decency or being a good person (learning, with an emphasis on moral action). He believed that once we give up our basic beliefs and laws to be like everyone else, we basically become everyone else, and slowly erase ourselves, our essences – kind of like the American melting pot idea, which many have taken issue with. He was certainly a modern man, and a very intelligent one at that, but he warned against sacrificing our very existence as a Jewish people, which so many generations have struggled and strived so hard to preserve, for the illusory benefits of “blending in” completely with those around us. It’s all about balance: taking the good, leaving the bad, and being proud of who we are rather than ashamed and hiding it behind ceremonies and services that are made to look and sound and feel just like a Church service would. The cool part is that it really could have been written today – the same issues are prevalent in society, the same tensions exist between wanting to uphold tradition while simultaneously blending in with everyone else, the same arguments hold. It’s something even the most observant people struggle with, and certainly something I am struggling to work out as well in my own life. I certainly have several problems with some things he said, he has a very harsh and sarcastic tone at times, so I really don’t know how effective he could have been back then, but it was still extremely interesting to read, especially in light of what happened to the communities he was speaking to and warning, about half a century later. Ramaz was actually really big on Rav Hirsch, they quoted him all the time, which makes a lot more sense to me now that I’ve actually taken some time to read what he wrote.

On that note - I really like how much learning I’m getting done. Every single day I’m in classes, and if not, I’m reading something with friends, or talking about deep things with them. Conversations don’t revolve around gossip anymore, or the latest movies or TV episodes. Sure, we get silly, we have our chilled out times, not everything has to be intense. But not a day goes by that I don’t work my brain. I really think that learning is undervalued in society today. Sure, it’s given lip-service, and we all say and are taught that education is important. We spend thousands of dollars on college and grad school, where, presumably, we are meant to learn things. But what about after that? How many people actually go on to make it a priority in their lives to continue learning, in a constant and regular way? We all know people who love to read, and that’s great, but for many of them, is that more out of a thirst for knowledge, or just for entertainment? How many people make it a set thing that every single day, to some time to grow intellectually? I know plenty of people who make it a priority to go to the gym every day, work on their bodies so they can be physically fit. Of course that’s important, as is eating right every day, or telling your loved ones you love them every day. These are things that many people do consciously commit themselves to do, as they should – physical health, emotional connection to others. But knowledge? It’s simply not as likely that your average Joe Shmoe, or even your entirely un-average high-ranking business man or doctor or lawyer or anything else, will commit himself to reading something deep and intellectual for an hour a day, or to meet with a friend and discuss real issues and ideas. (And I don’t mean cnn.com – current events are one thing; intellectual and self-awareness is another.) People get so caught up in their lives, the daily grind, the feeling that they just need to keep spinning around the wheel, that they lose sight of the power they have in their own heads to imbue even their everyday lives with light and meaning and intelligence. I’m no exception; of course, I’m talking to myself here as well. And even for those still in college, how many people are really there for the pure pursuit of knowledge, rather than in order to gain a way of making money? I liked to say that I loved learning, I certainly believed I did. But what was I doing when I didn’t have work to do for a grade? Watching TV, going to parties, maybe once in a blue moon heading to the gym. I loved learning, but the pressures surrounding it were so great, that all my free time was spent resting and detoxing from it. That’s not what I mean by spending time learning – I don’t mean for a grade or for a career or to impress others with what you know or for entertainment. I mean for the sole purpose of knowing more, of growing your mind, and growing as a person as a result. I’m not saying everyone is like this, but I think most people are; learning has become something relegated to the years we spend in learning institutions, for external purposes, rather than a daily pursuit for the betterment of our entire lives. Right now, I am experiencing true learning for learning’s sake, and I’m loving it. I’m surrounded by people who are just as excited to sit with me and read, just as inspired by new pieces of information, just as focused on expanding their horizons and intellects. I hope I can take this with me when I leave here, surround myself with people who are just as into it as I am, and continue to live in this way, in constant pursuit of knowledge, because it feels so right to me.

So that’s what I’ve been thinking about.

Oh, and btw, I cut my hair. I wanted to try something new for the new year, something different from my usual. Pictures below – don’t hate! It'll grow! :) (the other girls are Yomi and Erika, 2 close friends here.)

Love, shira