While there, I helped Ez move into his new place, which he's renting for a few months. I did all the little errands, running around to stores, picking up food and paper goods and dry cleaning and mezuzahs and yada yada. I actually loved doing that, it just felt really nice to be able to help him out. Something I learned over the summer in Israel is that, contrary to what many people believe, love is based on the amount you give, not the amount you recieve. As in, the more you give to someone, the more you will love them. This explains why the love of a parent for a child is always stronger than a child for a parent - parents spend their lives giving to their children, so they end up loving them intensely. So I guess being able to give to Ezra so much this week, and to help him out with everything while he got settled in his new (corner!) office, just intensified how much I love and care about him.
OOOk so here's where I get dramatic/sad. I left Chicago this morning, and it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Not only will I not see Ez for at least 5 months, but both of us are trying to take this time to really figure out where we're heading in life, not really knowing whether that will actually match up in the end. So, I really have no clue where we'll end up from here. All I know is that I'm in pain, and I'm afraid. Sure, I'm excited to go to Israel. But at this very moment, I can't think of anything I want more than to get right back on a plane and show up at his place. I believe wholeheartedly that I'm doing the right thing. It can only be good for us to both be independent for a while, clear our heads, grow on our own. But what can I say...delayed gratification sucks. Especially when you have no way of knowing whether the gratification will ever actually arrive at the end of it all. Anyway. As a close friend just wisely put it, "it's a time of change." Guess that's true for most people my age. So it goes.
Aside from all that...we also spent a really nice shabbat with a Rabbi's family in West Rogers Park. They were incredibly hospitable to us, and we had some interesting discussions about politics, gambling, Torah...etc. I've been following the elections somewhat, trying to tune in for the important convention speeches and whatnot. I found the Republican convention to be quite infuriating, I still do, but I must say, after talking to the Rabbi a bit about McCain and Obama, I understand the other side a bit better. After all, I do care about Israel quite a bit, and while for me it's not the only important issue, it's certainly one of them. When I asked about whether he cares more about the Israel issue than the well being of his family, he gave me a two-fold answer: first of all, voting for Israel's wellbeing is a vote for the wellbeing of his family, as he considers all Jews to be his family. Second of all, while Iran could destroy Israel with a single nuclear bomb, (an issue which matters a great deal to him obviously,) the possibility that his taxes could be raised or lowered simply isn't as consequential, he said. In the end, his immediate family won't be affected by domestic policy decisions nearly as much as his "extended family" could be by the outcome of this election. He conceded that the Democratic party's domestic policies and values are much closer to Judaism than the Republican's (as in, healthcare, education, welfare, etc.,) but even so, he feels that Israel is more secure in McCain's hands. We didn't really get into Palin too much, since I just got upset about her speech and all around ridiculousness. But I can say that the house next door had a "Palin for President" sign on the front. Oy.
Anyway the end result was that I learned a bit more about his view as a religious Jew on the election, and in the end, it was decided that Torah is not politics -- you can be a perfectly good Jew and vote Democrat or Republican -- it's really just a decision over who you think will actually benefit you, your family, and your country (ambiguity notwithstanding on that one,) the most overall. Sure, orthodox Jews have tended toward voting Republican, but that has pretty much everything to do with the Israel issue, rather than a statement of support for all their values. I'm not sure I'll even be voting in this election, considering I'll be absentee anyway and my vote wouldn't count much here in NY to begin with (the election people figured out that I no longer live in Philly...they're spying on me or something,) but it's certainly intellectually interesting to consider the other side, which is something I've hardly ever done when it comes to voting Dem or Repub. I'd like to think of myself as pretty moderate, an issue voter rather than a party-liner, but it's pretty easy to get swept up in Obamamania this season, rather than stop to think about everything both sides are saying. That's actually something Ezra has always been so good at - listening to the other side, hearing their arguments and allowing himself to realize when he's wrong or when they're right. He probably got it from his parents who are both geniuses. Either way, it's something I admire, and hopefully I can do that a bit more in all areas.
Aright that's enough typing for tonight. I'll be spending all day tomorrow packing, and then I'm off to the holy land to get my learn on. Next post will probably be from there.
<3 Shira
PS here are some pics from chicago...cool fountain and statue at millenium park, ezra's new place (a bit messy,) horse and buggy, and a reflective building on the river. (sorry for the layout...still figuring out how to work this)
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